


hold my hand as we stay young (to the ocean where we run)

by bisexualtrash



Series: are you going to age with grace? [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabbles, Eremin - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Armin Arlert, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:32:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7031029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualtrash/pseuds/bisexualtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Part 2 following 'they're just two poor kids')<br/>~<br/>Armin loves him and literally drowns in his eyes until it's the last thing he sees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold my hand as we stay young (to the ocean where we run)

**Author's Note:**

> whatever man, just deal with the trash.
> 
> (read end notes for maximum effect :))

 

~ 6 ~

 

His parents are gone. His Grandfather tells him he needs to make friends, something his parents never worried about. He wishes he had read a book that told him how to make friends. He's never felt so lost and frankly, it's scaring him.

An abundance of daisies scatter a patch of emerald green grass and among it all, an ethereal boy with gingerbread skin, chocolate hair and-

 _Oh._ He's been found.

~

Armin new favourite colour is teal. The colour of his mother's jewels and father's tie.

The colour of the gingerbread boy's eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

~ 7 ~

 

"I wish we could fly away into the sky, away from the walls..."

_Well, you can't just fly into the sky, it's impossible. You would need some sort of equipment for assistance..._

In order to save the brunette from heartbreak, the blonde makes it his ultimate duty, as a mature child, to play along with all the childish dreams thrown at him. So he refrains from correcting the younger boy and instead hums in agreement and leans on his shoulder, goosebumps raise and hearts beat a little faster. (A familiar feeling.)

 

* * *

 

~ 8 ~

 

The pair of boys play nearby a little stream, the clear liquid reflects pinpricks of light alike the scales of a fish, dancing in the natural flow of the water. He picks up a dry, brittle stick and gently pushes it into the water to drift away, away from the walls, away from the titans. 

"Where d'ya think it goes?"

"I don't know."

The brunette hums in thought for a few seconds, awkwardly carries Armin with his growing arms and sits in the stream with the smaller boy on his lap. 

~

"Oh, I thought we were gonna float away too."

Armin has never laughed so much in his life, (but he knows he shouldn't because Eren's frowning).

The pair of boys walk home together with wet clothes, shivering so they huddle close to each other.

(It doesn't make a difference).

 

* * *

 

 

~ 9 ~

The blonde is abruptly woken up by his best friend and dragged outside.

"I have a sister- I don't what to do- I killed people- What do I do-"

The blonde holds Eren's hand to calm him down. The latter beams at him in admiration, relying on him.

"It's okay, if you're scared... but imagine what she's feeling like-"

_Where is his scarf?_

He smiles fondly as the brunette tells him he gave it to her, evidence that the gingerbread boy truly has a heart of gold, something that makes the blonde's stomach feel... funny.

(Besides Armin couldn't stay mad at him for too long, that's Eren's job.)

 

* * *

 

 

~ 10 ~

 

His face hurts, his legs hurt, his arms hurt and his head hurts. 

He knows he is right and he just has to endure this because fighting back is _wrong_.

(He's not physically strong to do it, anyway.)

He stifles a sob as his blue, blue cardigan lays ripped on the ground.

~

But he remembers his heart still works and it beats heavily with every step his anger-driven warrior takes towards him.

Armin feels so much more comfortable wearing his proud knight's armor (even if it is a little _too_ big on him).

 

* * *

 

 

~ 11 ~

He gasps in surprise as he sees the ocean in his book. He loves the ocean as soon as his eyes lay on the rich, vivid pigments of deep turquoise on the pages. 

He reads and reads and reads the pages until he knows _every. single. detail._ about the roaring body of teal.

(He doesn't know why he loves it so.)

~

"Salt? No way, you can make a fortune selling salt!"

( _Ah. That's why._ )

 

* * *

 

  

~ 12 ~

He looks at the tears dropping down Eren's face, the salty liquid adds a little shine to the sea coloured eyes, like a little stream carrying his ailing away, memories of his mother away. Where will the stream of tears end? 

He doesn't know how to deal with grief.

But he knows about the ocean.

~

"All streams and rivers eventually lead back to the sea. Don't worry, Eren. You'll see her again."

He swears he hears Eren's heart break when he leans on his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

 

~ 13 ~

His stomach grumbles the 3rd time that day and his mouth is dry from the bread he has eaten which seemed to have failed to satisfy his hunger. 

The younger boy shoves the piece of bread in the older's hand and crosses his arms.

"Eat it!"

He shoves the bread back.

"No."

~

 

Eren's stomach growls, glaring at the blonde in defeat, chewing the bread roll with malice.

_Ocean boys need to survive to see the ocean, after all._

 

* * *

 

 

~ 14 ~

 His Grandfather had taught him so many things his books couldn't. But he never taught him how to deal with _grief_.

_I have no family left._

The reality sinks in deeper and deeper, awkwardly wedging into the hole carved in Armin's heart. (It hurt so much.) 

He has finally lost every member of his family and he feels as lost as he was at 6 years old.

~

"Don't forget, you have me."

He doesn't know how to deal with grief; but he learns to smile in times when he isn't supposed to.

 

* * *

 

 

~ 15 ~

 

"You will make it to the ocean, for us. Do you hear me Armin?"

No. He doesn't.

~

He never quite holds Eren's left arm the same way again.

 

* * *

 

 

~ 16 ~

 

He shivers as he walks, the white collared shirt doesn't quite warm him up in March.

"Here."

Eren drapes his army jacket over smaller shoulders and ~~the blonde has never felt so happy~~.

He feels warmer, but he doesn't think it's to do with the additional garment.

He feels a sense of déjà vu.

~

"Where did you put my jacket?"

Armin's cheeks have never felt more on fire.

 

* * *

 

 

~ 17 ~

 

He is bleeding, everywhere.

_It's your fault, you idiot._

His hand is shaking because Eren's holding it and all he can see are his blurry, teary eyes. 

Sad, sad, sad.

_Stop crying, I don't want that to be the last thing I see._

"You'll be okay, I won't let you go."

~

Eren occupies the hospital room with him for the next week.

 

* * *

 

 

~ 18 ~

 

They're drunk and they're giggling, talking and _living_.

"Your eyes are the colour of the ocean, I love the ocean..."

"But... you've never seen the ocean..."

"Who needs the ocean if I got you?"

~

 

They're drunk but the words they speak have never been more honest.

_"I love you."_

They don't remember who said it first.

_But that doesn't matter._

 

 

* * *

 

 ~ 19 ~

 

The smell of burning corpses makes him feel sick, memories of comrades float away in the dirty smoke and ashes.

He reaches for another hand under a green cape dirty with blood and mud, hidden from prying and crying eyes.

 

He wonders if it's selfish to think he's glad its them and not Eren.

_Of course it is._

 

* * *

 

 

 _~_ 20 ~

 

He gasps at the way the light makes Eren glow and he's never been more in love. The way his chocolate hair flutters in the light breeze makes the world stop for just long enough for him to immortalize the vision of paradise in his mind. Advice and stories of his sappy parents told by his Grandfather start to make sense.

He needs to keep him, after all _Diamonds are tough but cannot protect themselves from being stolen_.

~

~~He swears he sees tears in Eren's eyes when he looks at the makeshift ring on his finger.~~

 

* * *

 

 

~ 21 ~

 

For some reason, he knows something will go wrong on the upcoming mission; life has been going far too well for him.

He feels anxious and scared and _lost_. He's not sure if he will be able to take his ocean boy to where he belongs, _home_.

(He doesn't know it's with him)

~

_Please don't die._

_I don't want to be lost again._

 

* * *

 

 

~ 22 ~

 

_"I love you."_

 

He no longer feels lost; in fact he feels nothing at all.

But it's okay because the last thing he sees is the ocean, home.

A shame he didn't realise that sooner.

~

_All streams and rivers eventually lead back to the sea._

* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> When his body is torn apart, Armin never leaves his gaze from his gingerbread boy, whose teal coloured eyes release the ocean he's been waiting for his whole life. 
> 
> "You know you were always mine, right?"
> 
> He manages to reply before his throat is ripped apart.


End file.
